Our warmest and most heartfelt gratitude for our new Sponsors this fortnight.
The members of the Merchant Guild would like to remind you of the very especial Black Friday deals they have on offer. Throw that old butter churn out! Burn that old straw mattress! Ditch that cantankerous old Mule! Now is the time, while the Black Death is on the wane at last, to go out and buy some new furnishings for hearth and hovel!
Truly the Black Death hath ravaged our land, claiming the lives of nearly 5 of every 100 persons. But now that nightmare is over; certainly, it must be. Consider: what would happen if it continued on to wipe out 40, or 50, or even 75 per-cent of our population? If it were to end the Lives of hundreds of millions? Such an outcome would set our Progress toward Civilization back immeasurably, and might cause future generations to consider these Dark Ages indeed.
Thanks be to God, who was apparently very angry but whom we trust and pray is not so angry any more, this is not the case. The ordeal is over, and in celebration the Merchants are offering wonderful Deals and Sales. These Discounts are so tremendous that they may not be seen again for many months. Indeed, the early throngs of patrons have been so great as to have burst the doors of some Shoppes.
Perchance future Black Fridays will be less about Death, Madness, and the unholy zeal brought upon us by this horrible Plague. Perchance they will be a time to peacefully remember the blessings of a content and healthy Life. Perchance. Until that time, you are entreated to rush out to the Market and buy! buy! buy!
Blessings to you, sponsors, and all who deem it wise to patronize ye.